And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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