Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
