the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
