I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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