Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
