Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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