i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
