I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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