yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
