remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
