But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
