The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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