I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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