This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
