i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize