Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
