Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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