So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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