What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
