It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Dignity is for republicans.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
