WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
birth control should be required to get into college
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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