is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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