Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
