my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
