seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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