you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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