Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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