Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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