maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you had me at cake vodka
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
