Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
