She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize