The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize