it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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