Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you had me at cake vodka
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
