a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
