My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
