The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
