I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
