Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
