I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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