I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
