If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
