just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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