Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
even my farts smell like vagina
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
