Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize