so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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