I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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