I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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