Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
