Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
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