Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
