I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
