so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
