I puked a lego.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
