East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
